Also, guys who come on really strong at the beginning tend to be the ones who shortly thereafter, disappear altogether.As good as it feels to have someone adore you, he doesn’t actually low. ” You commiserate about your rough childhoods, and how it’s so hard to set boundaries and stand up for yourselves.Remind yourself that sex isn’t love, emotional intensity isn’t even love, and love at first sight is for rom-coms. He’s in therapy, reads self-help books, and speaks the language of emotional awareness.You need to slow down and really get to know this person. The Pattern: When he tells you right off the bat about the medication he’s taking, you’re thrilled. He understands when you need Me Time, and lets you cry on his shoulder when life just feels too hard.Hold off on the what’s-in-my-medicine-cabinet talk until you’re fairly certain that this guy is in it for the long haul, and that he carries plenty of Band-Aids.Plus: How To Tell If He’s Cheating The Pattern: You dream of being a writer so you date a well-known author while working as an administrative assistant.Or, on your first date, you already feel like you’ve known him forever. How To Break It: The problem with this pattern is that while emotional intensity and physical attraction are electrifying, they’re not love and definitely don’t mean that this person is your one and only soul mate.
This is hard because we have no control over where our minds roam.How To Break It: There is something comforting about dating a sensitive guy, especially if you’re a sensitive gal.But revealing such deeply personal information so early on before establishing a foundation of trust puts you at risk for being deeply hurt.You you think, as you send him links to every clip you’ve ever published after he expressed interest in your writing on your first date. Or take him through your recent Power Point presentation.
He believes in you and this feels wonderful, but you come to depend on his approval. How To Break It: As far as validation goes, the best place to get the approval you desire is from within yourself.
Ironically, the very behaviors you engage in to get into a healthy, loving, committed relationship do just the opposite, leaving you in tremendous pain and feeling like you’re destined to be alone forever.