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Kumar said that for her many patients in this same boat, she prescribes bio-identical hormones or Estriol cream, but she advises against the much stronger estrogen creams, like Estrace and Estrodial, which can increase risk of breast and uterine cancers, as noted in the landmark Women’s Health Initiative study.A bonus of supplemental estrogen is that it can also boost libido.But there was one subject I still needed to address: my fears about the state of things “down there.” Would it be like riding a bike — or was I in for a rude awakening?

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Casting Sam in a New Light Armed with new information and ideas, and comforted by the reminder that a romantic involvement doesn’t have to lead to marriage or a “financial entanglement,” I felt free to ponder some decisions about my burgeoning relationship.I'm not sure what changes menopause has brought, and, even more importantly,” I continued in what felt like one long run-on sentence, “I am frightened that physical intimacy might ruin our great friendship.” What I didn’t admit was that I wasn’t sure I was “all in” just yet.And, if I’m being totally honest, despite having really enjoyed making love over the centuries (20th and 21st), I wondered whether I was even that interested anymore. When I spent some time thinking about it, I realized that my reticence revolved around two things: physiological changes (dryness and thinning vaginal skin) and, more surprisingly, a whole new set of non-physical “prerequisites” for a lover.Now that I’ve reached the age where I can start withdrawing from my Roth IRA (59½), and ever since the cost of my health insurance jumped 26 percent, I've found that what turns me on is a man who is not only honest, intelligent, fun, thoughtful and sexually attractive but also one who has health insurance, a good retirement plan and a steady income.

I was surprised to discover how large a role my security needs played in terms of how much I was willing to “play ball.” While Sam had all the wonderful character traits I craved — plus he loves to fix things and cook and even clean up — he was unemployed, his health insurance was about to run out, and his 17-year-old BMW made noises like a herd of stampeding elephants.But first, I have something to try: Sam and I are going to take an “affordable” vacation — we'll be taking care of a friend's home midway between us.

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