“I've always been completely open about it with my partners,” says Emily*, a student at the Community College of Philadelphia.“When I'm ready, I'll tell them that I'm okay with things going further.Make sure you trust your partner and that you both have been tested recently.On the same note, unless you’re down to have this guy’s baby or want to risk getting an STD or STI, you need to discuss what form of contraception you will be using.Be sure to explain your discomfort about it afterwards so there won’t be any confusion in the future.Take control of your sexual health and make sure you’re communicating with your partner.Some people only consider penetrative sex as sex, and others consider anal and oral as equal to penetrative sex.
However, be sure to remember that even if you do have the conversation, there’s always a chance your partner isn’t being truthful or has something without knowing it.
“Both partners have to agree on what the sexual relationship is going to be, and each partner should have an understanding of what the other person wants.” Make sure you both know if you’re exclusive or not. Some people like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla.
Your partner may be into or ready for some things that you aren’t ready for.
“It’s important that both partners are telling the truth,” Wanis says.
“Radical honesty is key.” Make sure you’re very clear with your boundaries in all aspects.
“Both people have to be really honest and understand that sex will change the relationship,” Wanis says.